Back in late September 2010 I was still crying and moping over having been dumped by Felicia (as discussed in my book [offsite-url=http://www.dudegurlz.com/books-by-kris-kail-pg7/]Slacker's Inferno[/offsite-url]), and I had been talking to Weirdy over AIM as platonic friends. After the whole situation between me and her went down back in May she met a nice young boy who I'm pretty sure cheated on her and beat her. See, the reason why I think this was she told me that even after they started dating he kept his OkCupid account active and would actually meet up with people he met on there, and she had all sorts of miscellaneous bruises lining her arms which she described as him being "playful".
One day she was telling me about how her roommate needed a boyfriend and for once I actually decided to pay attention to what she was talking about. I couldn't fucking remember this broad's name if you put a gun to my head and screamed in my face in a language neither of us understood, so for all intents and purposes I'll call her Amy. So Amy needed a boyfriend and Weirdy's telling me about this after I'd been crying to her about how I'd been dumped and she didn't expect me to wanna rebound on this chick. Ridiculous. So I tells her to set me up with her.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT, KAIL!"
"But why not? She needs a boyfriend, and I need a cheap rebound!"
"Don't call my best friend a cheap rebound!!!"
"Okay okay, how about we hang out and you introduce me to her and we'll see where things go from there, does that sound okay?"
"Alright, I guess we can do that sometime soon."
"But why not? She needs a boyfriend, and I need a cheap rebound!"
"Don't call my best friend a cheap rebound!!!"
"Okay okay, how about we hang out and you introduce me to her and we'll see where things go from there, does that sound okay?"
"Alright, I guess we can do that sometime soon."
Fast-forward a week and she's blubbering to me about how her boyfriend was mad at her for some shit. Apparently he was in a pissy mood for something that had nothing to do with her and he stopped talking to her for two days and she was in hysterics thinking she had done something wrong. She tells me she needs someone to talk to and convinces me to come over with the promise of dinner. Free dinner? You'd have to be an idiot to pass that up! I hopped on a bus and scooted my behind to her dorm at FIT, just in time for some cheesy Hamburger Helper.
I get to her dorm and she's cooking up a big helping of Hamburger Helper just for me and I start askin' her about Amy. Then she starts going on about how weird it would be if me and Amy started dating because of "our" past together. What past did we have? You weirded me out and robbed me of $100, other than that there is no past you weirdo! Using my skills of persuasion (i.e. bothering her constantly) she eventually gave in and said I could date Amy, but there was a catch: I had to win her over myself, Weirdy wouldn't help me in any way.
Easy enough, I'd gotten girls before, this one was desperate enough that she'd give me a chance, right? Well just as we finished that conversation Amy comes strolling in and boy was she MEDIOCRE. She was the plainest girl I ever even considered filling with my awful goop, but she did have a little cuteness to her, and she was into anime so I figured she'd probably be pretty cool. Weirdy introduced me to her and she pleasantly said hi to me and then started ranting about how some 50 year old guy at the art supply store was stalking her. I casually make a joke about her predicament to break the ice and she shoots me this look like I'm some sort of asshole.
Ouch.
Few minutes later she's going on about how she doesn't have a boyfriend and how alone she feels and I go "Hey, y'know, I'm available if you wanna hang out sometime." She looks at me and goes "uh... I don't even KNOW you."
OUCH.
After about ten minutes of her going on and on about this bullshit I go "alright, well, I gotta get back to Jersey, I'll catch up with you guys later." And I ran out the door as soon as I could, but Weirdy followed me out. She apologized for Amy's attitude and I said it was alright and that I'd see her later, but she would not shake off! She followed me all the way to Port Authority, and finally took the hint and made like a tree and got out of there.
At the end of the day, the free dinner wasn't bad, but really I could've done without the 'tude. She had a nice rump too, but oh well.
OH! And back in October '11 me and Katie went to New York Comic Con and I saw Amy hanging out with some guy, totally glad she didn't recognize me because I think Weirdy knows I wrote about her in my books.
